We all know this guy, right? The guy at the bar who screams, "Go Ravens Defense!", yet has a Colts jersey on. He'll bend your ear about who’s on waivers, QB ratings, ranked defenses, sleeper picks, productive tight ends, and who needs to "come up big this week”. The fantasy epidemic hit this young man, and it him him hard.
Look for these traits/qualities:
- Mildly athletic in high school
- Never an avid football fan, until his first draft seven years ago (he was probably 19 then)
- In a league with friends and “another league” that he doesn’t pay as much attention to because he got experimental when drafting, and is now off to an 0 – 4 start.
- Believes in a time constraint during draft rounds
- Hosts the Fantasy Draft (also probably league administrator)
- Wears a football jersey during the Fantasy Draft
- Gets mad when people become inattentive during draft
- Usually says this at some point during the draft, “I avoid drafting players within the conference of the team I root for. I’m a GMEN fan. I hate The Eagles, so I’m definitely not taking Vick.” Thanks for the heads up guy.
- Posts corny questions in league polls like, "When was the last time Eric got laid?" or, "Is Tim's team going to win a game?"
- Consumes the thirty minutes you get at lunch break with fantasy banter
- Knows more about football stats than football fans
- While at a bar, he'll say things like, “Foster is a beast man” and, “Thank god for my kicker”, and “Rodgers hasn’t thrown a pick in 98 pass attempts”
- Has a team name making fun of another guy in the league, i.e. Marks Hot Wife
- Hates when people don't pay for the pool right away
- Has his laptop, fantasy magazines, and mock draft strategy ready and accessible during drafting
- Doesn't get laid enough or ever
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