Wrong band buddy...

Bright in there huh partner?

 

Angry Bird Tattoo Spotting

Speechless

It's a Hipster-ful Life

Look, Daddy! Teacher says, every time an Apple product's sold, a hipster gets a stupid #$@% bike.

That's right, that's right.

Middle finger to the camera Guy

Brotherman, your message to the camera is, “F*** You, Camera”.  Apparently you’re passionate about this, because thirty out of your two hundred Facebook pictures are you, flipping the bird, half drunk, with either a girl that's 'gotta go' counterpart in the background or at some stuffy basement party with your 'boys'. 

Our staff has come up with a plan for you, guy.  We would like to finance holiday greeting cards of you and that unbelievable looking finger of yours, under the condition that you send these cards to all of your family members come the holiday season.  Deal?

 Why not?

 

 

Death Grip Remote Guy

 Not even over your dead body

Guy with Pot T-shirt

Expect this type of shirt from the guy who was an identity seeker fresh out of high school.  The guy who bought it in a head shop in tenth grade.  Because of his tight-knit, suburban upbringing, he was never able to show it off during those budding adolescent years.

Then college came, and he went to Rock the Bells.  He saw other guys that ‘gotta go’ wearing shirts that say SOUR and KUSH, maybe even a Che Guevara tank top if they’re Poli Sci majors.   

 

Eventually he’ll turn thirty, move out of his parent’s house and say, “I don’t know about this shirt.”  Until then, he'll keep it hipster with that pot shirt, because he smokes pot, and everyone should know that as soon as he steps outside everyday.

Because the four people that pressed it before you didn’t have that special touch.

Ya wanna know what I make a year?

Guys that ask for a free drink

GUY:  This ones on you, right?

BARTENDER:  Ha.

Let’s clear this up for all those self-entitled patrons out there.  Bartenders don’t own the bar.  They don’t own the liquor on the shelves, or the plates they serve the food on.  They own a shitty car, pay too much for their health insurance, and get waxed on student loan interest.   They’re not going to feel bad for you because your tab is seventy-four dollars.

Don’t ask for a free drink.  It makes you sound like a prick.  However, in your case it wouldn't have mattered, you blew your chance when you asked to change the TV station as soon as you sat down.

Guys that think strippers 'really like' them

GUY 1:  Can we go now please?

GUY 2:  Hold on, this one keeps looking at me.

GUY 1:  No she's not.

GUY 2:  Bro, everytime I come here she’s all over my shit.

GUY 1:  No.

GUY 2:  I’m telling you, I mean, I know she’s a stripper, but she looks at me different.

GUY 1:  I’ll be in the car.

Wake Up

 Bandana, boom.  Frosted tips, bing. Sixteen bracelets on both wrists, bango.  Let's do this.